LongCon [f. Shael Riley & JPHONIC]

from by Beefy



Walk into these cons like a boss
Marathon, power on, I ain't aiming for a loss
Polygons ramble on, all this swag is open source
Speed along, autobahn, man I know you love these Crocs
Looking like another bearded fatty with a poster tube
Flabby, kinda crabby, but I overhaul my attitude
Cincinnati hottie cosplaying in her birthday suit
Never been so happy with a gender bent Crash Bandicoot
Yeah they loving on the VIP name badge
Haters gets to swarming climbing out the escape hatch
Grabbing every code for a free DLC patch
Losing to an 8 year old, demanding a rematch
Bet you didn't know this like my second home
Tales I could tell require memory like Google Chrome
Packing up these models in this molded styrofoam
Patience while in line is laced in every single chromosome

Long Con is a real convention
Don't you believe detractors
It's just been delayed and obscured
due to myriad factors
It's at the down-town Hilton, the one under construction
Leave your e ntry fee at the door. Await further instruction.

I believe in Long Con

Soooo I was told that there'd be booth babes
I booked my room till Sunday, two years ago I prepaid
This place is insane, in need of several upgrades
Abandoned razor blades and chicken buckets used as lampshades
A bunch of artists said the checks never cleared
And the green room had a rat and a couple warm beers
All the ATMs got jacked, and these kids are in tears
Security's a guy named Matt who keeps on calling us queers
I kinda start to feel like I've been had
What I thought would be a party quickly turned into a drag
I have a hard time here believing Wal-Mart sponsored all these bags
They give a bunch of perfume samples, pass it off like it's swag
If the organizer shows storm his car and we'll mob it
Said that this would happen, guess my mom is a prophet
And right around the time my dignity felt accosted
Redeemed themselves a little when they brought in the ball pit

yeah, I mighta promised you a thing or two

might of said you’d get an autograph from ash and pikachu

might of said admission guaranteed a piece of epic loot

might of even said that summer glau would wear the zero suit

but, if you look closely you’ll see

the fine print on the receipt

guarantees, that I’ve no legal liability

to provide a refund or relief

or concede that you deserve more than what you have received

so take a seat

And to the rappers who’ve been saying

that I put em on the bill but I’m a shill who ain’t been payin’

let me weigh in with specifics from the contract that you dissin'

even though you signed the line and gave explicit permission

for me to pay you in a very new, exotic cryptocurrency

so what if I invented it and no one takes it currently?

actually, I’m takin’ kind of a loss

so if you’d click this link and donate I would sure appreciate it, boss


from Too Big To Fail, Part One, released August 26, 2016
feat Shael Riley & JPHONIC



all rights reserved


Beefy Kennewick, Washington

Hailing from the Northwest, Beefy is a massive presence in the nerdcore hip-hop scene. Since 2005, Beefy has been pushing his positive, pop culture influenced message worldwide, beginning with his debut The Whitesican EP. Never afraid to make references to X-Men comic books or video game vixens, Beefy has also found a way to create his own style backed by pop, rock, and hard powered rap production ... more

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