We’ve updated our Terms of Use to reflect our new entity name and address. You can review the changes here.
We’ve updated our Terms of Use. You can review the changes here.

LongCon [f. Shael Riley & JPHONIC]

from Too Big To Fail, Part One by Beefy

supported by
/
  • Streaming + Download

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    Purchasable with gift card

      $1 USD  or more

     

  • Limited Edition Compact Disc
    Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

    I made 30 physical CDs for shipping. I don't trust myself to get my shit together enough to get more than that shipped out. Comes with a personalized note and some stickers!

    Includes unlimited streaming of Too Big To Fail, Part One via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.

    Sold Out

  • Full Digital Discography

    Get all 15 Beefy releases available on Bandcamp and save 25%.

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Crash, Super Relatable, O-S-Dub (OSW Review Rap), The Adventures of Beef Thompson: Provisional License Exam, Emergency Meeting, Too Big To Fail: Part 2, Too Big To Fail, Part One, Grown Up, and 7 more. , and , .

    Purchasable with gift card

      $45 USD or more (25% OFF)

     

lyrics


Walk into these cons like a boss
Marathon, power on, I ain't aiming for a loss
Polygons ramble on, all this swag is open source
Speed along, autobahn, man I know you love these Crocs
Looking like another bearded fatty with a poster tube
Flabby, kinda crabby, but I overhaul my attitude
Cincinnati hottie cosplaying in her birthday suit
Never been so happy with a gender bent Crash Bandicoot
Yeah they loving on the VIP name badge
Haters gets to swarming climbing out the escape hatch
Grabbing every code for a free DLC patch
Losing to an 8 year old, demanding a rematch
Bet you didn't know this like my second home
Tales I could tell require memory like Google Chrome
Packing up these models in this molded styrofoam
Patience while in line is laced in every single chromosome

Long Con is a real convention
Don't you believe detractors
It's just been delayed and obscured
due to myriad factors
It's at the down-town Hilton, the one under construction
Leave your e ntry fee at the door. Await further instruction.

I believe in Long Con

Soooo I was told that there'd be booth babes
I booked my room till Sunday, two years ago I prepaid
This place is insane, in need of several upgrades
Abandoned razor blades and chicken buckets used as lampshades
A bunch of artists said the checks never cleared
And the green room had a rat and a couple warm beers
All the ATMs got jacked, and these kids are in tears
Security's a guy named Matt who keeps on calling us queers
I kinda start to feel like I've been had
What I thought would be a party quickly turned into a drag
I have a hard time here believing Wal-Mart sponsored all these bags
They give a bunch of perfume samples, pass it off like it's swag
If the organizer shows storm his car and we'll mob it
Said that this would happen, guess my mom is a prophet
And right around the time my dignity felt accosted
Redeemed themselves a little when they brought in the ball pit

JPHONIC
yeah, I mighta promised you a thing or two

might of said you’d get an autograph from ash and pikachu

might of said admission guaranteed a piece of epic loot

might of even said that summer glau would wear the zero suit

but, if you look closely you’ll see

the fine print on the receipt

guarantees, that I’ve no legal liability

to provide a refund or relief

or concede that you deserve more than what you have received

so take a seat

And to the rappers who’ve been saying

that I put em on the bill but I’m a shill who ain’t been payin’

let me weigh in with specifics from the contract that you dissin'

even though you signed the line and gave explicit permission

for me to pay you in a very new, exotic cryptocurrency

so what if I invented it and no one takes it currently?

actually, I’m takin’ kind of a loss

so if you’d click this link and donate I would sure appreciate it, boss

credits

from Too Big To Fail, Part One, released August 26, 2016
feat Shael Riley & JPHONIC
shaelriley.com

license

all rights reserved

tags

about

Beefy Kennewick, Washington

Beefy is a grizzled young vet of nerdcore hip-hop, having been providing thrust inducing jams since 2005. Based near a decommissioned nuclear production complex in the Pacific Northwest, Beefy’s meta-powers took shape in the form of dope rhymes, fun flows, and he can glow in the dark. Beef can be found on Patreon making new tracks every month with producer and beat sommelier tanner4105. ... more

contact / help

Contact Beefy

Streaming and
Download help

Shipping and returns

Redeem code

Report this track or account

Beefy recommends:

If you like Beefy, you may also like: