Rolling Doubles

by Beefy

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about

Nerdcore Hip-Hop artist Beefy's 2nd Studio Album ROLLING DOUBLES featuring ytcracker, MC Router, Shael Riley, The Former Fat Boys, and Bethzilla with production from tanner4105, Drown Radio, and dj john

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released August 15, 2008

Album Credits @ Beefyness.com

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about

Beefy Kennewick, Washington

Hailing from the Northwest, Beefy is a massive presence in the nerdcore hip-hop scene. Since 2005, Beefy has been pushing his positive, pop culture influenced message worldwide, beginning with his debut The Whitesican EP. Never afraid to make references to X-Men comic books or video game vixens, Beefy has also found a way to create his own style backed by pop, rock, and hard powered rap production ... more

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Track Name: Olly Olly Oxen Free
My I have a minute of your time/I’ll give ya seconds of this rhyme/And let ya know that it’s safe to come out/So lemme hear ya scream olly olly oxen free/Now your screaming Yo Beefy what ya got for me?/I got artillery and laser guided missiles at the face/At drama starters who get the alt-f4 and they get erased/Yo I’m happy in this place so when you’re givin me my space/I hope ya handle it with grace or else your out without a trace/So talk about me in your music, on the net, and with your friends/Because this album here transcends what Amazon spam recommends/I get high like Storm, I get deep like the Morlocks/These beats, I know, they make your toes pop/Can I get a what what? Probably not./Wrong subgenre? That’s what I thought./BUT I, enjoy to write, AND I, keep hope alive/SO I’M, just hoping that you got this in your harddrive/This is a twenty sided rhyme, twenty sided rhyme, word/Catch me on the stage, sweating, flippin you the bird/In a venue I forget the name of, but please don’t fear/You kids can play your fucking games this year. And holla olly olly oxen free
Track Name: You Can Call Me Beef
Get your headphones, you’re in for a treat
Loop it all night. Ya got this track on repeat
From the northwest, but I’m bring the heat
You can call me Beef

Tbyte hits you all with the spirit
Beefy hits the rest with the lyrics
Wrapped around nothing specific
I’m not great dude, I’m terrific
Yo I’ve been here before
In the 509 I’m causing war
In the 206 I hit the blitz
Like Lofa Tatupu was in the mix
Straight nerdcore rap machine
Running shit like Commander Keen
Call me up if your eighteen
Yo I’m only mean without caffeine
So when I get my fix
I’ll send yall to the river styx
Tell Charon I said hi
Ladies, Beefy’s in short supply
So get him while you can
Boyfriend? Baby leave that man
Shouldn’t be a hard decision
You’re the Witch and I’m the Vision
Now we can figure out
All the silly things we’ll joke about
I’ve got skill and I’ve got power
And badass like MC Router
Beefy’s got a killer flow
Tell me something I don’t know
Router’s known to pop the glock
While Beefy’s playing Bioshock
Welcome to the circus of value and I can tell you right now
That if I got me my plasmids I’ll take you out with a BLAOOOW!

Beefy makes your brain explode
Unbeatable like Battletoads
Empty out that Tattoo bottle
Then adventure like Full Throttle
Sour like lemonade
Just need two coins for the arcade
Then spend all day on MvC
The sequel, homeslice, naturally
I don’t know what I found
But I know I hold it down
Nerdcore might be what ya call it
Can’t get enough like an alcoholic
I hear them cry and plea
I can’t stop singing Play With Me
And Table Top’s stuck in my head
We love Beefy from A to Zed
What can I say
With just one hook I’ll make your day
Just one verse I can make your year
Like Killface I’ll destroy your ear
Not with teeth just with my sound
My magic here is world renowned
And with every site I visit
I make each domain so exquisite
Other rappers whisper curses
But still begging me for verses
All powerful like Zeus
Like Zander Crews dude I yell Boosh
Ladies like feel on my wuubs
And giggle while we’re watching Scrubs
I’m a spaz just like JD
And narcotic too like Dr. Reed
Track Name: Tilt
Happened last year when I met you down at Ground Kontrol
Fatty climbed the stairs with ten dollars wrapped up in a roll
Harmless flirting, dropped my coins all up in your receptacle
One year later got me more retarded than a vegetable
From the first time that I pulled back the plunger and you know I let it go
I knew that I had lost it and I knew that you had gained control
In the beginning I could see you on and off for a week
Now if I don’t hit a bumper than I can’t fall asleep
Kept telling all my friends that I could stop when I wanted
Addictive personality yo I’ve been trainspotted
Should have stopped coming back when you went from a hobby to a lifestyle
I got pictures of me playing you up on my profile
AIM handle PinballFanatic81
I’ve played this game for one year and you know I’ve never won
I know the way you’re wired, every way in which your built
But some how you got my lights flashing, screaming out TILT!

First time I placed my hands upon you know I broke into a cold sweat
Not knowing in the future that it’d be something I’d regret
From taking cold showers, to hating you for hours
I love you and if I died you wouldn’t even send me flowers
And obviously I’m not the only man in your life
Three more entries in your top score after I had left last night
And it’s pointless even starting one real fight with you
Cause you’re a robot and you’re heartless and you don’t even care
You’re not aware, of this giant cross that I have to bare
They see me weeping so the other customers point and they stare
It isn’t fair, I think you like to see me demented
You’re like the single coldest pallor game like ever invented
And I wanna shred it, rip you up and tear you to pieces
Bust ya wide open just to see what releases
I know the way you’re wired, every way in which your built
But some how you got my lights flashing, screaming out TILT!

And ya tilt, tilt, tilt me outta my mind
You’re stressing me out when I just need to unwind
And ya tilt, tilt, tilt me outta my soul
Driving around Portland with nowhere to go

And I can’t figure out a way in which to end this
Cause if this machine had a voice she could finish this sentence
Played her wearing dress shoes and flip flops
For the very longest time I’ve depended on the DMD and back box
And she send me love in the form of multiball action
Not an everyday distraction, I just love it with a passion
Lay in bed at night and I dream about the flipper
You can check out all the pics that I’ve posted on Flickr
Because she’s always there for me at the end of a long day
And I’m the only one I know that’s ever gotten 80 free plays
Hitting these bumpers and matching the numbers
Just circuits in this cabinet but you all know that I love her
These sounds they drive me crazy, come and save me I’m a baby
But she never comes to slay me just because she thinks I’m lazy
I know the way you’re wired, every way in which your built
Loving every flash of light while I’m screaming out TILT!
Track Name: Table Top
Saturday night I’m bringing skills here at the table top
So much better at Monopoly than at nerdcore hip-hop
I won at Tongiaki, Uno, and Settlers of Catan
Hand me a twenty sided die and I’ll show you who is the man

Back up with a soda pop
Rolling doubles all night and I’m feeling hot
See that I’m getting outta jail free
Hitting duce 5s yo that’s my free parking
Feeling pretty dopehat know I’m winning all these games tonight
Collect 20 bucks from everybody who’s feeling good alright
Clean up the board and money while my buddy lifts the GM Screen
I got my D, my handbook, and my trusty character sheet
My warrior is known to do 8 plus 1 with his fists
Turning orcs into clouds of blood wishing they didn’t exist

I receive all my XP then we proceed to some games of Munchkin
Think I’m getting all the good treasure? That’s a great assumption
Back down with the power glove
For once we’re gonna show this table love
Turn the TV off and grab some dice
This is how we roll mo-fo on nerd night
Nobody’s trading with Beefy when we play SOC
I tell em that I’ve got wood for sheep, they just make faces at me
We play some Ninja Burger my card says I do a backflip
3am but I don’t care my friend yo it’s time for conflict

Never been a fan of Scrabble
Words or birds or psychobabble
Thanks to the net I can beat friends in Portland and Seattle
We need three days for some RISK
Trapped in Ukraine I slash wrists
But I sit back I don’t get pissed
I’ll win cause I’m an optimist
Game of Life? Don’t waste my time
I’d rather go back home and rhyme
I came here for games and friends
I wipe the smudge up off my lens
Then I stand up on my seat
Dispense this knowledge I decree
That nerd night is the greatest thing to happen to all of our lives
Track Name: Play With Me [f. Bethzilla]
I’d like to be with you, it’s like the only thing I think about
But nerds like me we don’t get ladies yeah we always go without
I was playing Smash Brothers when it was prom night
The last girl I saw was Chinese, she beat me in a street fight
I know I seem standoffish, it appears like I don’t like ya
When all I really wanna do is just Excite ya like a Biker(a)
Wish this was an RPG, I’d change the way I am
You’re a perfect 10 and I know exactly where I stand
Spending hours on a Gamecube, rather be with you
If I’m Weapon X, rejection is my Sabertooth
Basically to me you are a wish still unfulfilled
I’m fragile like a tiny Mario against a Bullet Bill
So I really must refrain, causing hearing No would cause me pain
And to hear me stammer stutter must be driving you insane
Beautiful, intelligent, the woman that I dream about
Scared that if I told ya you would grab my heart and rip it out

Met you at a lan party in my buddy’s garage
Yo I was feeling quite large, the opposite of in charge
Social butterfly until a pretty stranger walks by
Asking me if you needed a CD-Key for Farcry
I started making noises like [stuttering]
Ya giggled, winked, and waved, and said what’s up it’s nice to meet ya
Frankly to be honest you seemed rather out of place
Pretty much the hottest girly that will go up on my MySpace
Looking back I probably should have asked you out right on the spot
But I was regulating heavily on Quake and couldn’t stop
Well at least that’s my excuse
Rather produce a noose and get loose off this boozed up juice
Than deal with another lady telling me that I’m not good enough
If love is just a battlefield I’m happy never suitin’ up
But I can’t resist
Plotting and pondering with those lips, all the ways you kiss

I think I’m starting to get a better lay of the land
You seem to date a lot of assholes, I can be a better man so
I gotta be true, I see me being with you
To get your hand in my hand what does Beefy gotta do?
Seem to see your face like all of the time
Just like Tyler Durden can’t get you out of my mind
So I…some how some way
Gotta believe that you think of me the very same way
And if that’s true how ’bout me and you hook up on a rendezvous
And I can take you for a ride just like Marvel vs. Capcom 2
Might leave me broken like a crack in a disk
But I’m awesome and you’re worth it so I’m taking that risk
So come over to my spot so maybe we can play games
Ya make me feel like Johnny Storm, like I could burst into flames
I’d give ya foot and back rubs every night before you sleep
So just keep that in mind every time you’re thinking of Beef
Game On!
Track Name: Ball Pit
It’s my birthday, friends all here
To celebrate my big eight year
Only sitting down because we must
We eat the pizza but not the crust
We’re set free, we cause commotion
Converting dollars into tokens
We know the prizes aren’t top shelf
I give a high five to Chuck himself
See me dive head first in the ball pit
Against some rules, but I’ll above it
Get more tickets, get more tokens
13 kids, no sad emotions
This the greatest day I’ve had
Don’t like the Cheese? Well that’s too bad
Kids being kids, be it boy or girl
Greatest place in the whole wide world

In the ball pit, fun won’t let up
I hope that I never grow up

I wanna be here for the rest of my days
Arcades to be played, just so many games
Playing TMNT for two hours
I’ve got skeeball super powers
Mr. Munch always missing one hand
But he rocks out with that robot band
This new games tough but ya know I got skills
Love this place they got free refills
Mom if you give me one more dollar
I’ll get tickets to buy you flowers
And have enough left for a brand new toy
Don’t take me home, don’t end my joy
Can’t you see this brings me cheer?
Can’t you see that I love it here?
I’d gladly live here for all my life
Spending all my time…

In the ball pit, fun won’t let up
I hope that I never grow up

I see you smile
Seeing me here
I wanna be happy baby
Like I was that year
In the ball pit, feeling happy
Just laughing with my friends
In the ball pit, no worries
I hope this never ends
Track Name: Disconnect [f. ytcracker & The Former Fat Boys]
D-i-s-c-o-n-n-e-c-t
Baby can’t you see
Without the net yo this mc
Just might go on a killing spree
Woooo!
I lost the Internet
Woooo!
I hate the disconnect

Morning yornin’, wake on up
Cause I know my inbox all filled up
Grip the mouse, turn on the screen
404 windows looking back at me
Now hmmmm what could this be?
Status: Connected on LAC
But MySpace refuses to load
I pray that it’s just being s-s-slow
Hit the garage, reset the router
Call it a rooter for short time laughter
Then back to my seat I sit
So I can download brand new beats and shit
But no, seems that my life is cursed
And I only have an hour before I have to work
Gotta check out Hipster, Please goddamnit
Coke can, find it, grab it, slam it
Wikipedia entries to edit
And read blogs of peeps that are way more pathetic
But I’m stuck in the stone age now
Mesozoic area, T-Rexs abound
Without those tubes I’m clearly a wimp
Just wanna read comics on Digital Pimp
But the gods of the net are being a bitch
I’m throwing a fit, I refuse to submit dude
What would ytcracker do?
So I take off my pants, take pics in the nude
But how am I gonna post em up in the thread
No Internet? I’d rather be dead
Can’t log onto Skype. Can’t log on to AIM
And did I win my last fantasy football game?
Never been a fan of the disconnect
Charter Cable hates me, I get no respect!

Without the net I’m just some dude
With a condom and spermicidal lube
IRL i’m nobody
Basically my fame is a fantasy
Can’t leave the house, end up in a street fight
Just cause I’m all about the nerd life (word life)
Firefox is just where I belong
Without these the tubes I couldn’t write this song
So Heeeeey! Up for war driving?
Where I’m crying someone’s thriving
Sadly TC is full of hicks
And the people at the wifi spots are dicks
So my fat ass stays at the casa
And sadly moan my fallen master
And smoke another cigarette
And ask why I’m not famous yet
[interlude]
Off the point but I digress
But I’m still a big fan of some exposed breasts
I don’t own porn in a physical form
And there’s not much else to do when Beef is bored
Drop to my knees and I ask for some guidance
What can I do when the net is silenced?
Hardly a prophet, saw no vision
So I just lumbered on down to the kitchen
Watched Entourage and quoted Ari
Then spent good time with Katamari
Called friends who I knew partake
Then I got playstation, and we got baked
Napped after we played some slayer
And woke up several hours later
To my surprise and shock I found
That this piece of shit Internet’s still down!
Track Name: Last Minute Gig
I don't seem to have lyrics for this one. I am sorry.
Track Name: Clueless
Hi how are ya doing, I’m right here spitting intellect
That Ed Reed style idiots couldn’t possibly hope to intercept
Busting myths like Adam Savage, I take advantage
Of the clueless media that think my people really couldn’t manage
To change the minds and open up of the blind eyes
Of the mainstream cats who mock me rapping bout the twenty sides
They be my favorite weapon, my glocks are source books
Rolling up barrettes, crit and cut you up with fish hooks
Spit so hot I guzzle antifreeze for enemies
Who know my albums hot but won’t admit it cause they’re hard to please
Ayo I’m nerdanese, a race of my concoction
So big on the net I just wink at EBay, win the auction and
You may think that I’m just another ego monster
I’m really not a nerd, just a really good imposter but
What you see is what you get like Chumbawamba
I’ll be serving up the clueless all day yo so take a number
Track Name: Turn Your Radio Off
Hey You! (Yeah you!) Could you do me a favor
And get a pad and some paper and jot the words of this savior
You need to turn that radio right off
right off right off right off right off right off
Why?
Well son I’ll tell ya boy
The media they’ll tell ya boy
That SUPERMAN’s a good song
When it’s really killin culture boy
These dudes that dance don’t rap
Cause rappers they don’t dance
They know how to produce a hit
Same formula in every track
That’s not art that’s just wrong
Same ol shit in every song
But zombies they just sing along, yo let’s be strong, and bring it on
And put an end to the cut and paste
The lyrically waste of space
Stop putting money in their pockets and just punch them in the fucking face!
But shh, I got a secret, they’re all just playing tough
Real gangstas died out years back, these new kids homeslice they’re all talk
They do it for the paper bill, to get a grill, and make a mill
So fake they don’t know who they are, they don’t know how to keep it real

So let me ask you, did ya hear what I said?
Of course you did baby I’m all engrained in you head
So listen up, pay attention, gonna start a revolution
They’ve over stayed their welcome
Beefy’s got the solution, push em
Out your mind, out your heart, or over a cliff
Yo if grunge rock had to die, I would say that pop hop is next
Cause they don’t bring nothing to the table not already there
That shits been played since I was a youngin gripping on a teddy bear
So while they holla “paper paper, dolla bills yall”
“I’m stright from the block yall, reaching for my steel yall”
I’ll get competitive, a nerdy representative
They’re rapping for the pride and I’m just rapping for the hell of it
Woop Woop! Yeah Yeah! Those are not lyrics
You are raping the spirits of the dead MCs who would feel it
And they would grip the mic and tell us all their stories and it was real from them
All ya do is leech from them, ya might as well be paying them
Track Name: Minimum Wage Slave [f. Shael Riley]
Get up, work, sleep, eat
Purchase power, shave, repeat
Clean shirt, dirty socks
Car alarm, alarm clocks
Sleep depravation
Mental masturbation
Spend, spend and never save
Minimum Wage Slave

Gotta wake up at 8 but I can’t, I can’t, I can’t
Cause running through my mind is murder, sawed offs, panic, and mayhem
You don’t wanna wake this beast, I curl up tight under my sheets
But Chick McGee on my alarm reminds me that I can’t sleep
So I put on my polo, dress slacks, dress shoes, look for my black frames
Cause I gotta see so I can make pizza and sell you nerds video games
These nerds think that I live the dream, free pizza and free PSPs
But I should probably roundhouse kick them and see if their all on PCP
Electronics don’t come cheap, I could get a better deal on EBay
And when I tell em they should reserve a game they don’t listen to a damn thing I say
So excuse me if I don’t feel bad and drop down on both of my knees
Bout how you wanted Guitar Hero 3 but it sold out on the Wii
Come in here all the time, you’re still paying for extra bacon
Don’t try to take advantage of this nice guy making phony relations
Can’t feel too bad, in Washington we make seven ninety three
And ya know it’s going up again to eight bucks in January

And I got holiday hours creeping up on me daily and nightly
If I gave you a gun and would you shoot me if i asked you nicely?
Shouldn’t keep razor blades behind the counter, giving me dark ideas
Wish these kids would just go home, who needs games when you still got your hot wheels
Broken neon sign out front says that I work at umbia Center
Never shoplift, but if she’s cute and busty, well then I’ll probably let her
Imma slave for the minimum wage, probably should have just kept my fat ass in school
Twelve years too long, now i’m a pawn, every damn day played like a fool
I smell like onion and garlic, I feel empty and cathartic
See myself as a moocher, I’ll taste success in the future
Cause what you hear is so damn sweet
Other MCs bow down to my feet
But that’s just a dream, because actually, I’m more like 12 steps from the elite
I’m an artist with a mic but same goes with pepperoni and dough
Don’t even tell me your topping, my fingers already know
I’m down the best I can, 2 jobs I’m the man with a mic in my hand
But folks in this land they don’t understand
When all the shit hits the fan that’s all part of my plan

I’m a minimum wage slave, working for the man, yeah
Every dollar that I make they take it from my damn hand
Working two jobs, and I burly get by
But I gotta suck it up cause sadly this is my life
And I don’t know what Beefy can do
Don’t know if there’s anything I can say to you
To make you understand that I’m just a man not a fan of dollar bills being snatched from my hand
Now I pay rent for real
Using change in my car to pay my bills
Hockin my TV, living life cheaply
No more ladies who’s dads wanna beat me
Cause now I don’t have the cash for a dork date and to treat you proper
Guess life is a bitch and there’s no way a dude like me could ever stop her
Now I just sit at home
Fat ass in the living room all alone
Fake ass YT, hacking encryptions
So Microsoft doesn’t end my Live subscription
Overdrafting on the daily just to get gasoline in my truck
But still I tipping like a pimp cause frankly I’m not giving a…darn
Just give me the check you can keep the fame
Don’t care if Joe Blow’s never learning my name
Stomach’s got pain and it’s totally lame
Got shame from this game and I’m going insane
Track Name: Dork Date
Not a playa but I’m cool as a blizzard
And I saw you at the Barnes & Noble with the newest Wizard
Sitting by yourself, thought you might need some company
Said hello my name is Beefy, internet celebrity
You might know me from the interwuubs but then I doubt it
But what’s your name? Whatcha do? Tell me all about it
And it’s not like me to be forward and step up
But I was thinking maybe later you could join me for lunch
And we’ll discuss Spidey 3 and the death of Cap America
Oh, you like my hair? I got a stylist named Erica
And I get a great rate yo cause she’s my mother’s sister
She’d love you in a second you should really come and meet her
Ignore the voice in your head, just listen to Beef
A silly night of adventure and it’s all on me
So here’s my cell, gimme a call when you’re done with school
Oh and you don’t have a boyfriend right? Aiight, cool

Hey girl let me take you on a dork date
We’ll hit the comic shop baby and it’ll be great
Making you feel good is my goal
Having so much fun I don’t wanna go home, no
Hey baby lemme take you on a dork date
Ya never know, I just might end up your soul mate
Smile on your face is the top of my plans
My chubby cheeks lightin’ up every time we hold hands

So if ya like I’d like to take ya to my spot
China Cafe, know they got almond chicken on lock
Was gonna take ya to a movie cause deep down it is my hobby
But we got sidetracked playing Street Fighter up in the lobby
Grabbed ya by the hand and asked “Ya wanna go to comiccon?”
We can meet Brian K Vaughan and get our cosplay on
mc chris has a show tonight
Maybe the kids in attendance can confirm that I’m outta sight
But I’m hoping you can see that for yourself by now
Cause you make me say wow, you should take a bow
Cause in my heart it seems you’re gonna be a resident
Owning all control, got more power than the president
I really love your hair and the way your eyes are blazing
Ya ask if you’re becomin my new wonderfulamazing
And I don’t know how to answer that, got red on my face
Cause now it’s 1am and now we’re going over to my place, hey!

And I’m feeling it. Do ya feel too?
We’re on my bed, watching BSG, just me and you
And I’m thinking of all the things I’d like to do with you
Yo I get all excited when ya say that you like View Askew
And you like the posters covering the plaster
I try to take it slow and avoid a disaster
But I can’t help that my heart just keeps on beating faster and faster
I’m feeling harder than the later levels of Blaster Master
You look me in eyes and gimme a little wiggle
Ya say you like my smile I say I like the way you giggle
And then I feel your lips on mine
Hope the night don’t end. Hope the sun don’t shine
Heart starts to skip while I grab your hip
She pull up on my hair so I bite on her bottom lip
Love to tell ya more but deep down I’m a gentleman
I gotta clean the room because she’s coming over late again
Track Name: 1337ology [f. MC Router]
So lemme lemme lemme lemme lemme get on the track
Like a Street Fighter cabinet I got me a fierce attack
Feeling lazy so I’m hitting the sack
Often feel like I’m Banjo with Kazooie on my back
So lemme know what you’re trying to prove
I’m like fire it’s true, there is no touching this dude
In fact I never ever stop time I just speed it up
Watching you disintegrate while I stay young
It’s like my superpower, my shiny gift from Zeus
I understand how your feeling lemme get your noose
And there’s nothing nothing nothing nothing I can do
To make you start feeling good about you
I’ve been know to have that Ken Masters confidence
Flamming sharuken right against your head to make ya dense
Hard not to be impressed with the Beef
Some people call me an asshole, assholes call me Keith
I only throw nat 20s when I need to
You run characters transparent enough to read through
But I have got my schooling, so baby eat it up
Brag about myself little bit but come on gimme love

I’m such a sight to see
I got this PhD in 1337ology
At the worst of times, still got the best of rhymes
And Imma give it to you motherfuckers one more time
I’m such a sight to see
I got this PhD in 1337ology
I’m an original, I got it in control
And I’m getting nerd girls up on the stripper pole

To be honest never been good at getting girls undressed
But now they get impressed now that Beefy got some press
And I SING better than you would believe
And I BRING all the fire that ya need baby
Might be obscene baby, little retarded maybe
Your throwing children overboard while your screaming mayday
But I don’t need the drama, I’m jumping off dude
So you can call me Kratos, you should prolly do the same too
And I don’t need to believe in the things that you want me to
What would Ken Masters do?
I think he’d, hurricane kick you right into oblivion
I really whip the llama’s ass baby like I’m Bolivian
People don’t like me and they don’t like she
She goes by the name of MC
Routerlicious, MC Router, I just call her boots
She’ll be here in just a minute homie giving you the truth

I’m such a sight to see
I got this PhD in 1337ology
At the worst of times, still got the best of rhymes
And Imma give it to you motherfuckers one more time
I’m such a sight to see
I got this PhD in 1337ology
I’m an original, I got it in control
And I’m getting nerd girls up on the stripper pole
Track Name: Story Time
Gather round kids, it’s story time
Let me try to convince you this tale is not mine
This boy is special but he doesn’t know
And that’s just the way the story goes

Chapter 1, an introduction, say hello to the kid
Bit of an oddball, nobody saw the world quite like he did
He was a happy funny child and quite rarely it varied
Despite the fact he has no memory of his parents happily married
He just remembers early mornings with the screaming and the fighting
Escaped his rotten spot by his continuously lying
He then he started his writing, stories, essays, and raps
Always tried to make his friends laugh instead of going to class
See he was smart, not a genius, but he knew how to get by
With minimal effort, it made him L-A-Z-Y
So when it came to higher learning and he didn’t know to study
He dropped out after two years wasting a lot of daddy’s money
And he feels just like a burden and a charity case
You can see the stress cover his face, he’s out of place
And he feels inadequate, so he’s picking some fights
Cause a life of minimum wage the only thing in his sights
It’s like…

Chapter 2 deals with the love life, or the lack thereof
Dying a virgin makes him nauseous but he keeps his head up
He met a girl that he loved, but he got in too deep
And the opinions they spill out from everyone that he meets
They tell him stay away from her, your disrespecting yourself
She’s gonna marry that man, he tells them that he needs help
But all they ever tell him is to just get over her
Little did he know after one year that he’d wished he never talked to her
And when she’s wasted she gets stupid, spillin drinks on her blouse
He laughs when she walks her pretty drunk ass out of his house
Realized that she’s not prefect, in fact very for from it
Brain knew it all along, just took his heart some time to confront it
Over 700 miles keeps the two of them apart
Not his fault that the girl straight owns a piece of his heart
Used to obsesses on the daily but now he thinks she’s just nothin’
Lied right to his face each time she would tell him she loves him

Chapter 3 about the arson. Many bridges he burned
He says that he is a good friend but that some people never learn
And maybe he’s right, knows he’s not the king of polite
He doesn’t talk shit about the guys he hungout with last night
But through the grapevine he learns a lot about himself
From a guy that he considered incredibly top shelf
Been bad mouthed him for years, it caused him disgust
Now another name on a list of males our hero can’t trust
Disassociates with those that diss his love and his brother
And he’ll punch you in the jaw, say the wrong thing bout his mother
He let it compound, stayed home alone with a Gamecube
Came this close to posting emo shit onto YouTube
Rage it would build, got attitude like young Ice Cube
He spends too much time trying to convince you he’s a good dude
BFF is bullshit and completely irrelevant
Too many if’s in this world for anything that is permanent
Track Name: Table Top [Tanner4105 Remix]
Saturday night I’m bringing skills here at the table top
So much better at Monopoly than at nerdcore hip-hop
I won at Tongiaki, Uno, and Settlers of Catan
Hand me a twenty sided die and I’ll show you who is the man

Back up with a soda pop
Rolling doubles all night and I’m feeling hot
See that I’m getting outta jail free
Hitting duce 5s yo that’s my free parking
Feeling pretty dopehat know I’m winning all these games tonight
Collect 20 bucks from everybody who’s feeling good alright
Clean up the board and money while my buddy lifts the GM Screen
I got my D, my handbook, and my trusty character sheet
My warrior is known to do 8 plus 1 with his fists
Turning orcs into clouds of blood wishing they didn’t exist

I receive all my XP then we proceed to some games of Munchkin
Think I’m getting all the good treasure? That’s a great assumption
Back down with the power glove
For once we’re gonna show this table love
Turn the TV off and grab some dice
This is how we roll mo-fo on nerd night
Nobody’s trading with Beefy when we play SOC
I tell em that I’ve got wood for sheep, they just make faces at me
We play some Ninja Burger my card says I do a backflip
3am but I don’t care my friend yo it’s time for conflict

Never been a fan of Scrabble
Words or birds or psychobabble
Thanks to the net I can beat friends in Portland and Seattle
We need three days for some RISK
Trapped in Ukraine I slash wrists
But I sit back I don’t get pissed
I’ll win cause I’m an optimist
Game of Life? Don’t waste my time
I’d rather go back home and rhyme
I came here for games and friends
I wipe the smudge up off my lens
Then I stand up on my seat
Dispense this knowledge I decree
That nerd night is the greatest thing to happen to all of our lives
Track Name: Play With Me [dj john remix f. BethZilla]
I’d like to be with you, it’s like the only thing I think about
But nerds like me we don’t get ladies yeah we always go without
I was playing Smash Brothers when it was prom night
The last girl I saw was Chinese, she beat me in a street fight
I know I seem standoffish, it appears like I don’t like ya
When all I really wanna do is just Excite ya like a Biker(a)
Wish this was an RPG, I’d change the way I am
You’re a perfect 10 and I know exactly where I stand
Spending hours on a Gamecube, rather be with you
If I’m Weapon X, rejection is my Sabertooth
Basically to me you are a wish still unfulfilled
I’m fragile like a tiny Mario against a Bullet Bill
So I really must refrain, causing hearing No would cause me pain
And to hear me stammer stutter must be driving you insane
Beautiful, intelligent, the woman that I dream about
Scared that if I told ya you would grab my heart and rip it out

Met you at a lan party in my buddy’s garage
Yo I was feeling quite large, the opposite of in charge
Social butterfly until a pretty stranger walks by
Asking me if you needed a CD-Key for Farcry
I started making noises like [stuttering]
Ya giggled, winked, and waved, and said what’s up it’s nice to meet ya
Frankly to be honest you seemed rather out of place
Pretty much the hottest girly that will go up on my MySpace
Looking back I probably should have asked you out right on the spot
But I was regulating heavily on Quake and couldn’t stop
Well at least that’s my excuse
Rather produce a noose and get loose off this boozed up juice
Than deal with another lady telling me that I’m not good enough
If love is just a battlefield I’m happy never suitin’ up
But I can’t resist
Plotting and pondering with those lips, all the ways you kiss

I think I’m starting to get a better lay of the land
You seem to date a lot of assholes, I can be a better man so
I gotta be true, I see me being with you
To get your hand in my hand what does Beefy gotta do?
Seem to see your face like all of the time
Just like Tyler Durden can’t get you out of my mind
So I…some how some way
Gotta believe that you think of me the very same way
And if that’s true how ’bout me and you hook up on a rendezvous
And I can take you for a ride just like Marvel vs. Capcom 2
Might leave me broken like a crack in a disk
But I’m awesome and you’re worth it so I’m taking that risk
So come over to my spot so maybe we can play games
Ya make me feel like Johnny Storm, like I could burst into flames
I’d give ya foot and back rubs every night before you sleep
So just keep that in mind every time you’re thinking of Beef
Game On!