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Too Big To Fail, Part One

by Beefy

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Electric X
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Electric X The arrangement and the seriousness in which Beefy doesn't take things too seriously is where this record, and indeed all of his works have really shined. This isn't to say the passion and the love aren't there, because they are, in spades. This is a fun ride through the genre of Nerdcore and there is a level of innovation in Mr. Keith A. Moore that has been honed to a fine point with the hilt being as blunt and unapologetic as ever! Favorite track: LongCon [f. Shael Riley & JPHONIC].
Debug Svoenix
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Debug Svoenix Got this CD a few years ago and blasted it through San Diego. The bass is dope for driving around and the overall soundscape is upbeat for those long drives home from work when coffee wasnt available. Stay Beefy! Favorite track: Dear Valentine.
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    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Crash, Super Relatable, O-S-Dub (OSW Review Rap), The Adventures of Beef Thompson: Provisional License Exam, Emergency Meeting, Too Big To Fail: Part 2, Too Big To Fail, Part One, Grown Up, and 7 more. , and , .

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1.
The Recipe 02:55
2.
Never Enough 03:34
I got some problems, got some issues But one is perfectly clear I can’t deny it, I can’t hide it It’s just the way i appear But it goes deeper, it’s my secret But it will make me victorious I private shame, and yet i reign No one has ever been so gluttonous What I got it good and what I got it great But what you got I want it so much What you call a feast and desserts full of treat At the least I’m a beast, I’m just calling it lunch Wrote me some raps and I made you these tracks But until I have Grammys I basically suck Say that it’s greedy or petty or needy But don’t let me hear you say that it was luck At minimal, I want it all Attention and all of your love They hear my flow Around the globe But baby it’s never enough My list of friends, it never ends I dare you to call out my bluff I’ve done some shows I’ve made some dough But baby it’s never enough Clearly my theory is scary because if you’re up on a throne then I’m pulling you down I am His Beefyness, that shit was serious And I won’t stop till I’m wearing a crown No one is safe in this whole fucking place I’m on pace to erase and then set a new precedent Wouldn’t it be tight if my house was all white? Oh yeah you heard me right, baby, Beefy for president I’m not adverse to straight casting a curse If I thought that at worst it would gain me a spot Put dudes in stitches and burn me some bridges I’ll even punch kittens if that means the top Just look at me, beacon of purity Spiritually I am like Rod and I’m Todd But fly off the handles then light you some candles Got power like Thanos, I must be a God You think that… Greed will consume me but it passes through me If you truly knew me you knew it was destiny Here in this racket I’m more than fantastic But sadly no Catholic would ever risk blessing Don’t need some dough and I don’t need some hoes I want em all both just spread out on my bed Paying attention to silent derision They think my ambition has gone to my head If you had the goods and adorable looks You would call the rest crooks who were out to steal shine Rent you some talent and borrow the masses But as the day passes you know it’s all mine Say I’m not great and you’re playing with fate I got steak on my plate and you can’t get a bone Used to be humble but now I will rumble If you even stumble and trip in my zone
3.
It's like blitzcrank clinck clank living, real life's no different, man I can't break down No love day of Thanksgiving next day up wishing they would close my town Much rather be a playboy sipping, sex in finest linen, I'm GQ bound Easy living that was my mission, but not efficient, you win this round I don't wanna be a jerk, guess this is work, just wanna usurp this twerp Should have been on full alert when they said there weren't perks, I don't really wanna fold this shirt But to get the food on the table, you gotta be able to go with the flow But the stress it has me rocking, it don't feel like ever stopping, and I'm crying in the corner "Don't make me go!"
4.
​ Time and again I show up, drinking soda, bullies come the new blood One pant leg up, eating Pizza Hut, and I post up, Fatty with a bowl cut And every single time I lose, only shows to prove, that I never give up It's a slow improve, but I make my moves, sometimes I'm straight owning dudes So bring on the noobs, I got the tools. Baby this was way back in 92 And if that little boy could see me now he would so proud, doing how I do But those skills now ain't so cool, now gaming moved to being virtual Got you holding every gun, it's a ton of fun But get off the couch, it's a workout son! But there's still a place that's like a cave, that seemed a lot bigger when I was small They run they mouth, I Wreck It Ralph, body teens at the local mall Nothing as a kiddo ever felt as fun Running out of change but I can't be done Need more credits, so pathetic Mad at the cabinet cause it don't take debit K, let's play Just gotta be home when the sun stops shinning Oh hey, nice save But I got a lotta skills that I've been hiding But forward fast to the present year Times are bad, nobody's here These cabinets no one repairs In no time flat, they all disappear
5.
6.
You know those kids that you had made fun back in middle school It's not about their status, race or just not being cool It was that bit of blub, you may have called em scrub Didn't really give em love cause they were into grub And maybe you went after dudes with better sex appeal Captain of team with genes that really were ideal Or maybe you're the type to go for guys who make some art Who kinda took that starving artist motto straight to heart Well let me represent for all those guys you couldn't miss Those who made you laugh but didn't make ya wanna kiss The guys who couldn't muster up the courage to try to make a pass Show up every day and get a B in gym class Never got the invitation underneath a bleacher Even though we'd treat ya even better than the Mona Lisa That is to say like keep ya safe cause you're a masterpiece And help through any struggle with a little bit of elbow grease TV and the magazines may say that you're not beautiful Well let me say that with some weight there comes some ridicule So we can handle that, just put it on my back And I'll remind you that you're gorgeous because that's a fact We're not the type to take your loving heart and soul for granted You make us feel like we're the luckiest guys on the planet I'm not religious but to treat you wrong would be a sin And taking photos with me never made you look so thin Nothing better than when you're sitting close and next to me And anybody you don't like is now my enemy And I don't mind a little sacrifice to play my part May hate to sweat but I am not afraid of working hard Looking like a second grader when you're putting on my sweater Baby I don't settle, I just don't think that there's any better Hope my devotion doesn't make ya feel uncomfortable But I can't go a day without your face because you're beautiful Now all my chubby underbearded homies listen here Nobody owes you anything for being sweet and dear Not sincere if you just want inside an evening gown Girls are not misguided if they slide on what you're putting down Don't be a luddite, benefit from insight Most of all these girls right ain't looking for a white knight But if it happens it happens, two hearts exploding like atoms If she likes dungeons and dragons, put one leg up like the captain
7.
​ Walk into these cons like a boss Marathon, power on, I ain't aiming for a loss Polygons ramble on, all this swag is open source Speed along, autobahn, man I know you love these Crocs Looking like another bearded fatty with a poster tube Flabby, kinda crabby, but I overhaul my attitude Cincinnati hottie cosplaying in her birthday suit Never been so happy with a gender bent Crash Bandicoot Yeah they loving on the VIP name badge Haters gets to swarming climbing out the escape hatch Grabbing every code for a free DLC patch Losing to an 8 year old, demanding a rematch Bet you didn't know this like my second home Tales I could tell require memory like Google Chrome Packing up these models in this molded styrofoam Patience while in line is laced in every single chromosome Long Con is a real convention Don't you believe detractors It's just been delayed and obscured due to myriad factors It's at the down-town Hilton, the one under construction Leave your e ntry fee at the door. Await further instruction. I believe in Long Con Soooo I was told that there'd be booth babes I booked my room till Sunday, two years ago I prepaid This place is insane, in need of several upgrades Abandoned razor blades and chicken buckets used as lampshades A bunch of artists said the checks never cleared And the green room had a rat and a couple warm beers All the ATMs got jacked, and these kids are in tears Security's a guy named Matt who keeps on calling us queers I kinda start to feel like I've been had What I thought would be a party quickly turned into a drag I have a hard time here believing Wal-Mart sponsored all these bags They give a bunch of perfume samples, pass it off like it's swag If the organizer shows storm his car and we'll mob it Said that this would happen, guess my mom is a prophet And right around the time my dignity felt accosted Redeemed themselves a little when they brought in the ball pit JPHONIC yeah, I mighta promised you a thing or two might of said you’d get an autograph from ash and pikachu might of said admission guaranteed a piece of epic loot might of even said that summer glau would wear the zero suit but, if you look closely you’ll see the fine print on the receipt guarantees, that I’ve no legal liability to provide a refund or relief or concede that you deserve more than what you have received so take a seat And to the rappers who’ve been saying that I put em on the bill but I’m a shill who ain’t been payin’ let me weigh in with specifics from the contract that you dissin' even though you signed the line and gave explicit permission for me to pay you in a very new, exotic cryptocurrency so what if I invented it and no one takes it currently? actually, I’m takin’ kind of a loss so if you’d click this link and donate I would sure appreciate it, boss
8.
Welcome to the kitchen, I got a condition, I keep on getting into fights Daddy pulled me aside, told me Matty don't cry, I just don't want you to live this life Don't hit those crooks, just hit these books. Look what a life of violence does to your pops This city doesn't need another punch drunk chump, if they can't nut up they can all kick rocks But then calamity, a tragedy, help me I can't see And truth it be could have easily turned into a TMNT You would not believe, how you and me rely on eyes and sight Then the world turned up and it won't shut up, Daddy help, I can hear them all scream all night And the weeks and the months they pass and I find I feel the ink with my skin Relearn how to read, but it's kind of a cheat, but I pick it up quick again So I study hard, get all gold stars, got the drive so I never tire And with every breeze feels like I see, but everything's a world on fire But bullies take no days off. Acting like you kissed their mom And they feel so hard when they make ya drop, can't freakin take it anymore But daddy worked for the mob, but I don't really think he knew it Told him take a dive, but he won that fight, it was like a perfect Murdock moment And he knew they wouldn't let him live, so he made arrangements for his kid Please take him in, and give him, everything I never did And like that another life was taken, it was still enough to make me sick Alone and I'm naked, bones you can break em, that's when they called in Stick What could you show me that the world hasn't already shown me If you thought I wouldn't give up everything than listen closely I am the man without fear (x3) Everyday I train, and I go through pain, but I'm finding that I enjoy it Stick ain't so nice, but he gives advice, and in no time I employ it But he makes it clear that he's not my dad, yeah no shit I don't need ya As I grow to a man take a trip to Japan and I train just like a ninja Brain grew as well and I did excel, made it to Colombia Met my new best friend, had a couple girlfriends, became Avocados at law And when I sleep and dream, I like to think, Dad's up there proud of me But I Catholic see, so the stress increase and I never seem to be feeling not guilty I see the crime and the injustice dominate my city Only so much that the law can do with cops that are this dirty So I dress in black and I wear a mask, and put the cartels on blast And I make em gasp, rethink they past, reach and grasp but they never last I climb the scumbag ladder taking all these suckers out one by one And I don't guns, just a couple clubs so I stop the slaves and drugs Combing over anything I might have missed and I pound my fist, who tops this list? Henchmen get pissed when I break their wrist and ask whatchu know bout Fisk? What could you show me that the world hasn't already shown me If you thought I wouldn't give up everything than listen closely I am the man without fear (x3) And it seems that all the crime and violence points to a single ma n And he sends all of his henchmen at me like they stand a chance But of course they don't, and they bones get broke, nighty-night when ya feel the choke And I go for broke, yo this ain't no joke, Better know that my city doesn't own a throne And he tries to hide behind some charitable philanthropy But my team gets wise that it's all a lie, he's snatching up property And his arm is strong but, knew it all along, in the end he's no Bruce Banner Fight a man who's life don't matter, I shine a light and watch the roaches scatter Now it's just me and you, there's no Nobu, what can you do? I heard you rock a little armor, but I found Mr. Potter, and he made me some too And if you couldn't tell, hit hard as hell, there ain't no bell I'mma let you live but it won't be well, you can rot and dwell in a prison cell What could you show me that the world hasn't already shown me If you thought I wouldn't give up everything than listen closely I am the man without fear (x3) What could you show me that the world hasn't already shown me If you thought I wouldn't give up everything than listen closely I am the man without fear (x3)
9.
Dear sis I don't know if I can send this I just want to let somebody know that I exist Still stressed since the day I left the world And the bullies and our brother who all love to call me Third They call it Battle School, the name is rather fitting And making any friends almost feels like it's forbidden Understanding gravity has made me a pariah And the dirty looks continue as my ranks are raising higher I'm the youngest and the smallest but there can be no excuses And Salamander Army literally asks me to be useless So I took that hinderance and made it an advantage And with that I changed the game and my commander couldn't stand it I'm a leader out of habit so they made me up a team And they gave me Fly and Vlad and Crazy Tom and even Bean Dragon Army doing something never seen Went from bottom and forgotten to a perfect war machine It's been said that the greatest leaders teach through action But yet I find myself doing the very things that Graff did Don't know why I feel I gotta make em hate me Sometimes I fear that I let Peter break me Dear Valentine, I hope you get this Even though I know they will censor this message Not everything is great up in space They make me feel like I'm the only hope for human race Dear Valentine, how I miss you While I'm gone I hope that nothing there can change you You remind me the world's worth saving And the future can be anything we make it Dear sis, I don't know if I can take this Sometimes for me it feels like there is only loneliness They try to keep me in this total isolation And they tell me that my only job is prepping for invasion Having us run matches about 2 or 3 a day And the way I train my troops it's like they wanna do it anyway Doesn't help they also put me on a pedestal Cadets that I'm outshining find it more than unacceptable Let my guard down and they cornered me while in the shower Lunatic named Bonzo there to prove that I'm a coward And like you taught me I didn't wanna work with violence Unfortunate these idiots were buried in their ignorance Tried to give the slip but he was on a full offense What you need to know is what I did I did in self defense I tried to warn him, but his friend were there to egg him on So I made a couple moves and in a flash that boy was gone If I'm the savior why did no one came to save me? Tears appear from no where and I feel like I'm a baby Sickens me that now I'm treated as leader Everyday I feel like I'm becoming Peter Dear sis, I wanna thank you for the visit And even though sometimes I disagree I hope you know I listen That cabin and the lake for my vacation was amazing But then shipped me off to Command School for proper training Not at all what I expected, but no surprise, alone again Right when I had finally had made a couple friends Sat me at a screen to run a hundred simulations But I used it just to take out my frustrations But the simulations never end, my eyes they start to bleed Why is this important? It's just pixels on a screen Sacrifice my pixels for a win and Graff he screams But then surprises me by delivering my team And the sims begin anew, with increased intensity But I don't care because I have my army here right next to me We don't get sleep and some succumb to those effects Pled with Graff, man you gotta let em have a little rest But then he tells me that the final test is finally here Bean points out The gate is down, we win and people cheer And in that moment I feel Peter in my head So from that day on, I shall be the Speaker for the Dead
10.
Bully 03:54
When I's a little dude, I wasn't little dude I've had this belly for as long as I've been eating food Rude awakening when I hit elementry school You'd think I wore a target based on people's attitudes They didn't like me for one reason or another It's like they like to treat me like I like to treat my little brother I could, teach a lesson on recessing, only part I enjoy Until that fateful afternoon out by the Big Toy I got surrounded and it felt like there were thousands And my best friend was amoung them, he lived down a couple houses When I try to seach my mind for what I did to get their hate Everything before the aftermath is sadly a blank And they kick and they punch and they hit and I scream I whine and I cry I didn't do anything And honestly Mike I just wanted to be No duty on duty would come to save me Knock out my breath and I felt like I'd die And as much as I hated I started to cry I hazy remember an overcast sky And that's when I started living a lie Hey look at me, I'm the bully now Think that I'm a joke? Then I won't clown around Made me lose my cool, now this is going down Even though now I know what I did was wrong Enter the middle grades, I stored a lot of hate Stressing when I had to socialize or intergrate And it's not like I had gotten any lighter I had this chip on my shoulder in order to be a fighter That's when I realized that this place was a prison And sometimes you had to throw a punch for very little reason And I, devised a theory of preemptive attacks And I would throw off every dbag that would jump on my back Accedemically it wasn't such a great plan Seeing my advisor everytime I'd land a chokeslam And my mother, god bless her, always having my back And told me if they're gonna hit you then you have to hit them back Then I hit people who weren't doing a damn thing Potiential friend ending up with a nose bleed I even pushed around the kids on my own team I was just a little monster in the making Now as a freshman, I put away the fists Because I found that I could do my damage with my lips More than talking shit, but that's the jist of it And if I knew you just a little, I knew where to hit I was hormones and insecurity And in my mind I felt like everyone was hurting me "Standing up" for myself with some authority And the worst part is it gave me popularity Until one day when this girl she stood up And told me Keith Moore, man you gotta shut the fuck up And you're gonna have to find another place to eat lunch And if you try to keep this up then you're just pressing your luck For the first time it finally clicked Not everyone I met was gonna act like a prick And from that day on I'd be all about joy, and try to Forget that afternoon out at the Big Toy
11.
The Ride 03:13
12.
13.
14.
​ Walk into these cons like a boss Marathon, power on, I ain't aiming for a loss Polygons ramble on, all this swag is open source Speed along, autobahn, man I know you love these Crocs Looking like another bearded fatty with a poster tube Flabby, kinda crabby, but I overhaul my attitude Cincinnati hottie cosplaying in her birthday suit Never been so happy with a gender bent Crash Bandicoot Yeah they loving on the VIP name badge Haters gets to swarming climbing out the escape hatch Grabbing every code for a free DLC patch Losing to an 8 year old, demanding a rematch Bet you didn't know this like my second home Tales I could tell require memory like Google Chrome Packing up these models in this molded styrofoam Patience while in line is laced in every single chromosome Long Con is a real convention Don't you believe detractors It's just been delayed and obscured due to myriad factors It's at the down-town Hilton, the one under construction Leave your e ntry fee at the door. Await further instruction. I believe in Long Con Soooo I was told that there'd be booth babes I booked my room till Sunday, two years ago I prepaid This place is insane, in need of several upgrades Abandoned razor blades and chicken buckets used as lampshades A bunch of artists said the checks never cleared And the green room had a rat and a couple warm beers All the ATMs got jacked, and these kids are in tears Security's a guy named Matt who keeps on calling us queers I kinda start to feel like I've been had What I thought would be a party quickly turned into a drag I have a hard time here believing Wal-Mart sponsored all these bags They give a bunch of perfume samples, pass it off like it's swag If the organizer shows storm his car and we'll mob it Said that this would happen, guess my mom is a prophet And right around the time my dignity felt accosted Redeemed themselves a little when they brought in the ball pit JPHONIC yeah, I mighta promised you a thing or two might of said you’d get an autograph from ash and pikachu might of said admission guaranteed a piece of epic loot might of even said that summer glau would wear the zero suit but, if you look closely you’ll see the fine print on the receipt guarantees, that I’ve no legal liability to provide a refund or relief or concede that you deserve more than what you have received so take a seat And to the rappers who’ve been saying that I put em on the bill but I’m a shill who ain’t been payin’ let me weigh in with specifics from the contract that you dissin' even though you signed the line and gave explicit permission for me to pay you in a very new, exotic cryptocurrency so what if I invented it and no one takes it currently? actually, I’m takin’ kind of a loss so if you’d click this link and donate I would sure appreciate it, boss

about

Here it is. Several years after it was promised, Beefy and producer tanner4105 present Too Big To Fail. Beefy has 10 years of nerd rapping under his belt, and at least 2 of those years have been good. Allow your chubby best friend to melt your face with tracks about vigilantes, robots, lies, and bitching about work, with familiar friends such as Doctor Awkward, Professor Shyguy, and Shael Riley among fantastic others. Hope you like it. Tell your friends!

Too Big To Fail: Part Two coming soon!

credits

released August 26, 2016

Beefy raps. (www.beefyness.com)
Tanner4105 makes dope beats. (www.soundcloud.com/tanner4105)
Rusty Shackles made this cover art like 3 years ago and has had to sit on it because Beefy is a monster. (www.tabletopfetus.com)

Recorded at SuperSoda Studios aka Beefy's house.
Produced, mixed, and mastered by tanner4105.

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Beefy Kennewick, Washington

Beefy is a grizzled young vet of nerdcore hip-hop, having been providing thrust inducing jams since 2005. Based near a decommissioned nuclear production complex in the Pacific Northwest, Beefy’s meta-powers took shape in the form of dope rhymes, fun flows, and he can glow in the dark. Beef can be found on Patreon making new tracks every month with producer and beat sommelier tanner4105. ... more

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